The Last Sunset
The Last Sunset
โDoctor, I want to… to see the last… sunset… of my life.โ
Many other patients had also expressed their idiotic and impracticable wishes โ like taking a long stroll, or a saunter for longer time, or to see their loved ones. But, the yearning of this patient, who was coughing and breathing inconsecutively โ definitely the last wish โ was not so exaggerated, which could not be fulfilled, Doctor thought.
He, pursing his lips, looked at the patientโs wide open mouth, which was encased in the ventilatorโs pane. He was also covered from head to toe in a blue stripped white dress like that of astronauts โ hands in white gloves, head under a casque with open front, but eyes under goggles of transparent glasses, nose and mouth covered with N-95 mask. His eyes travelled from patientโs mouth to eyes, where a despair and wistfulness spread with the whiteness of premonition of death. Doctor, tilting his head and stealing gaze, picked up the patientโs case history file from the metallic cabinet placed beside his bed.
Patientโs name was Aftab Ahmad, who was a Pakistani student and had come to China for studying in Chinese Academy of Engineering of Wuhan University. He was in his final year, expecting his return to his home country in the month of June after his examinations that the epidemic of Corona Virus abruptly broke out in Wuhan โ which soon became a pandemic, spreading throughout the globe โ and he was also admitted, along with other victims, in Huoshenshan Hospital. After a few days in Quarantine, then in Isolation, and now he was in ICU where Dr. Liu was also one of the physicians, attending him day and night. Since, he had found Dr. Liu and both the nurses attending him successively with tenderness, he took the courage to express his wish before them.
After studying the file, Dr. Liu prescribed a few medicines and, tick-marking one of them, said to the nearby nurse, โSister Changying, it should be injected immediately. Remaining medicines will continue as prescribed.โ
Before departing, he looked at the patient stealthily from the corners of his eyes; he noticed that the patient had already been fixing his requesting and hopeful eyes over him.
โDoctor, pleaseโฆ Itโsโฆ my last wish.โ He again beseeched in stammering voice. โThe last wish ofโฆ a dying personโฆ never refused anywhereโฆ in the world.โ
The doctor turned around and stared at him. Then, his eyes became thoughtful as he was wondering over his request. He stood motionless for a while with his eyes lost in thoughts, gazing at him.
โDoctorโฆ for Godโsโฆ sake!โ Patient again beseeched.
โHamm…!โ the doctor startled.
โDoctor…?โ
Dr. Liu stopped him, lifting his hand, and then said, โI value your wish. But, I canโt decide it by myself. Iโll have to take permission from the high-ups.โ He paused for a moment; the patient anxiously waited for him to speak, without averting his gaze. However, the shadows of desperation deepened in his eyes because he was well aware that the hospital was run under the strict discipline and control of Peoples Liberation Army. It was only then his attention diverted a slightly when the nurse, who had already prepared an injection, pricked needle in the branula on the back of his palm.
When the nurse pulled needle out of the branula, the doctor took a deep breath and continued, โIโll take it up with them. Iโm convinced it wonโt be rejected.โ
The patientโs eyes gleamed and the despondence seemed receding. His demeanor was that of thankfulness.
โThank youโฆ Doctor. Thanksโฆa lot.โ He stammered with delight.
The doctor casted a last glance over his tear-filled eyes and started towards the door. Then, he stopped abruptly and turned around again, and smiled encouragingly โI assure you, itโs definitely not your last wish.โ
But, there was an obvious uncertainty in his voice because the patientโs condition was precarious. However, he had done his job well what he could do to the best of his abilities because a doctor must always keep the hope alive.
โDoctor, todayโฆ the sunโฆ has set. Can Iโฆ hope to see itโฆ tomorrowโฆ after-noon?โ He asked when the doctor again visited that evening for his check-up.
โYes, absolutely. Why not! I hope, I shall be able to obtain permission by tomorrow and youโll see the sunset.โ
โThanksโฆ Doctor.โ The patient thanked him this time with self-appeasement, and closed his eyes, the tears slid down on his cheeks with the blink.
As the drip had to take its time to finish, and no other medicine or injection was to be administered to the patient, both the nurses also left behind the doctor.
After a few minutes, he heard the sound of foot-steps near his bed and opened his eyes. He saw one of the nurses โ her name was Shiaohui โ was taking his case history file out of metallic cabinetโs drawer. She watched him opening his eyes and smiled, which slightly lifted her cheeks up and made the crowโs paw around her eyes. She asked softly, โDo you like seeing sunset much more than anything?โ
โYes, too much.โ He said in low voice, โI have never missed it except these recent few days. I donโt know why the setting sun, its turning from golden to red, and the objects changing their colors too โ trees, plants, leaves, flowers, mountains, earth, even the sun itself ย โ always enchants and fascinates me and ย vitalize me to go through the next day to watch the next sunset.โ
She nodded and left, smilingly.
Sometimes โ at least certainly once ย in life โ your eyes encounter a wonderful, bewitching scenery or a dominating personality that you neither get rid of its spell throughout your life nor you want to, but it becomes the adore of life itself. Later, whenever you remember it โ and you often remember it โ it seems all the scene has become alive before eyes, making you still and breathless. So, the same had also happened with Aftab Ahmad. He was hardly seven or eight years old when he watched the sunset for the first time. He was engrossed in playing with other children outside of his village in a field, which was left uncultivated after picking up cotton and pulling out petioles, that suddenly he happened to have a look at the sun a little before its setting in the west; the brightened gild of the sun dumbfounded him and did not allow him to move further even an inch. He left the ball where it was and watched the sun mesmerized that he could neither hear the shouting calls of the co-players of his side nor the loud fuss of the opponents. He stepped forward towards the sun in that stupefied and enchanted state as though the grandeur of the scene made him oblivious of the world around him. He stretched his arms towards the sun as though he would reach out to place it on his palm. Stepping forward, he startled when he stumbled with a ridge of the field. He looked down angrily at the impediment, and then turned his eyes around him. Gild prevailed everywhere, like someone had sprayed golden powder on all things by moving the magic wand. The dazzling of wheat plants had risen, and they looked completely made of gold. The dust particles on the leaves of trees, standing on ridges, gleamed like golden stars. The original color of each and every object had quelled and changed. And when the sun gradually descended a little more, the blend of orange color in its golden glow gave the environment another charming guise. And again, when it descended further, its face reddened like that of the person who flushed with wrath on someoneโs talk or action against his temperament. On seeing its obliteration imminent, the sun seemed enraged. It cast its red tinged golden-orange rays on the earth, all the earthly things along with the sky and atmosphere flashed that red tinge. And when the redness vanquished golden, orange and other lightly tinged colors, withering them secretly, the layer of blusher deepened over the whole universe, like recently refreshed layer of lipstick by a belle. And then, the dusk gradually prevailed over everything. During that short span of time, a lot of talismanic facets, changing with the mingling of different colors โ which Aftab Ahmad could not narrate in words, but his soul felt very deep โ and that one scene took him under its spell so that he could never got rid of it.
Until Aftab Ahmad stayed in his village โ until his youth โ he would walk out of the village to fill the scene in his soul, sitting at an aloof place quite dumbfounded till the dusk fall. If someday, the small clouds scattered on the sky, the sifting through golden, orange and red rays would bring a new magic. However, occasionally, thick clouds โ often those of the fall season โ made Aftab Ahmad dejected and gloomy because his most favorite scene had been seized. Anyhow, he never missed the scene but it was the scene which always tricked him, making him desperate. Twice, he went on spree to the northern areas of Pakistan โ first, with other students of his college and secondly with some of his close friends โ but the absence of sunset at those mountainous area filled in him a kind of dejection. Instead of plain areas, the sun would instantly disappear behind a mountain and dusk started to fall, whereas it was still day time. He would solace himself with the gradually disappearing light behind the peaks, but comforting always made him more edgy. Before arriving at Wuhan, he had planned how he would enjoy the scene, that he would also keep a bicycle โ as the Chinese do โ to cycle himself outside the settlement. But, there was no need of it. The roof-top of the last storey of multiple storeyed studentsโ hostel solved his problem. If it wouldnโt had happened, he would had to go under a lot of labor, because Wuhan โ the capital of Province Hubei of Central China, divided by the rivers Yangtze and Han, comprises of three adjacent cities, and it is given a common name of โWuhanโ by taking the first alphabet of these cities โ Wuchang, Hankou and Hanyang โ a thickly populated city spread over miles with skyscrapers, which, like the mountains, hid the sun early before it sets. But, soon Aftab Ahmad found a place, where he could brim fully to watch the sunset till its last moment โ the bank of most beautiful and picturesque Eastern Lake. Its water reflected the sun beams across the lake like a path having several tinges of different colors, changing at every moment and at last becoming red. The billowing of waves made ebb and flow on the path that it appeared to be the pavement of golden, orange and red pebbles arranged artistically โ another bewitching scene to which he would had been deprived of in Pakistan until he indecently encountered at the bank of a pond or a lake.
Aftab Ahmad spent whole the night in imagining and dreaming that he could not know when the nurse came to remove the emptying drip or to administer him more injections? When his case file was brought back and placed in the drawer of the metallic cabin? He was even oblivious whether his nappy was changed at 9:00 p.m. as per routine or not? However, now, in the morning, he opened his eyes, feeling his trousers sliding down, and saw the sweepers with a trolley loaded ย with heaps of fresh pampers, wipes, bottles of Dettol, sanitizers, and another trolley, containing a lidded big basket at its atop, to throw in dirty pampers removed from patients. He spoke extemporaneously, โIโm clean.โ But they continued their job, paying no heed to him. After finishing his task, again sliding up his trousers, a worker said, โItโs necessary to avoid rashes and scabies. Now, you will be served again at 9:00 p.m. Right?โ
He nodded.
The doctor, accompanied by the both nurses, visited at his fixed time and told him that the authorities had been informed in writing about his wish, requesting for approval on humanitarian grounds; he had also tried personally to convince them being his attending physician, and expected that they would receive a positive response soon. Reliance in cadence of the doctor inserted in him a spirit and resolution filled with a sort of relief. The doctor appeared to be a gentle and sympathetic person, who was doing his best just to fulfill his wish. He found himself filled with intense feelings of gratitude for the doctor, and his eyes flooded with tears. The doctor tapped his shoulder to console him and once again assured that he would be seeing the sunset no later.
Though, the permission was not received that day, however, the doctor again bucked him up with aplomb, โDonโt worry. I believe weโll both watch the sunset tomorrow.โ
โDoctor, will the permission be received by tomorrow noon?โ He asked suspiciously.
โYes. Why not. Perhaps, by tonight or by tomorrow morning. Iโm sure because Iโve been assured. Why donโt you do a thing?โ
Aftab Ahmad looked towards the doctor inquisitively.
โYour desire reveals that you love this scene so much and you often watched it. So, you must forget your disease by then and in the meanwhile, from the scenes of past, imagine how much alluring the scene would be, weโll really see.โ
The doctorโs proposal was plausible, but the midmost state in between the apprehension of grant and rejection of his request was more dominating. It caused to spend the night that whenever imagination got power it fell down with the serpent of fear. Anyhow, this perplexity threw off the gloominess and dejection infested in him due to his illness.
ย
Next day, the nurses visited at their usual time of 11:00 a.m. but they were not accompanied with any doctor โ not even Dr. Liu. He impatiently asked about Dr. Liu. Sister Changying replied in her professional way, โWe have suddenly received a lot of patients, who need immediate attention. Dr. Liu and other doctors are providing them treatment in other ICUs. As soon as he is free, heโll visit.โ
โHeโll be here just in a while. You wonโt have to wait for longer.โ Sister Shiaohui said, pointing thermo-gun.
โI just wanted to know about progress upon my request?โ He asked.
Both the nurses looked at each other, diverting their attention from what they were performing.
โOnly Dr. Liu knows.โ Sister Shiaohui replied.
They finished and left him, perturbed. He spent almost two hours of wait, counting the distressful moments.
When Dr. Liu visited, accompanying only Sister Changying. He asked cheerfully, โHello young man, how are you?โ
โDoctor, Iโm much up-set.โ He replied, honestly.
โHmmโฆโ Doctor asked, โUp-set? Why?โ And he started to record his blood-pressure, pulse, heartbeat, and clatters in the chest.
He opened his mouth for an answer but then tightly shut it up, watching doctor busy, but his eyes were still questioning.
โSister,โ He said to the nurse, โWho checked-up earlier?โ
โSister Shiaohui, Doctor,โ
โPlease, call in her.โ
โYes, Doctor.โ Nurse Changying said and left.
The doctor asked him to turn over. Then, he put stethoscope on his back, measured effusion of breaths in his lungs and recorded results in the file. In the meanwhile, both the nurses turned up.
โSister, why is this difference between our readings โ yours and mine?โ the doctor advanced file towards the nurse Shiaohui.
โDoctor, it was the readings at that time.โ Nurse replied.
โHuh,โ the doctor chimed in and turned towards Aftab Ahmad, โWhy are you so much fond of watching the sunset? Donโt you want to see anyone else?โ Then, he added, remembering, โOh, you are a Pakistani. Parents, brother or sister โ anyone else โ we may arrange a meeting through video call.โ
โDoctor, I miss them very much, but theyโll be aggrieved when theyโll see me in this condition. The news of spread of epidemic would have certainly reached to them and they would already be very worried for me. I donโt want them to be gloomy anymore.โ
โSo you contented yourself to see this scene, huh?โ
โNo, Doctor. My name is Aftab โ the Sun. Probably, for this reason, Iโm fascinated by it. Iโve told this to Sister Shiaohui, too.โ
โShiaohui,โ Doctor spoke, thoughtfully, โDo you know the meaning of Shiaohui?โ
โYes, Doctor.โ He replied. โEarly morningโs soft sunlight.โ He had been living in China for the last four years and had learnt Chinese language very well.
โIf you wished to see the sun rising, I would suggest you instantly without any hesitation to see Sister Shiaohui.โ The doctor joked with a low guffaw; both the nurses gave a little laugh, too.
โThere is no incantation in the sun rising, which the sunset bears. You may see difference by sighting both scenes yourself.โ
โOh, well. So, you observed both the scenes deeply.โ
โYes, Doctor. The rising takes little time with weak fascination, whereas, the sunsetโฆ.โ
โAlright, alright,โ Doctor interrupted. โHowever, there is good news for you that permission has been granted conditionally, with the adoption of some SOPs. But weโre waiting for the written orders. As soon as we receive it, weโll take you to see the scene today after noon. Right?โ
โYes, Doctor. Thank you, thank you so much.โ
In response, the doctor smiled and left. And he began to wait for the permission letter eagerly, praying for its earliest receipt.
The evening had fallen. During this duration, the paramedics had been coming and going intermittently, but Dr. Liu and the two nurses did not appear even for once. Probably, doctor would be busy in providing immediate treatment to the new patients, but nurses? Nurses are also the special assistants to the doctors. But, anyone could have come to give him the good news. May the permission orders be still awaited? Or may be received? But, the other arrangements could not have been completed? Or the permission letter would have been received by some irrelevant person, who had no idea of its importance and he must had placed it somewhere, warding off the issue for later, due to emergent engrossments? Or the matter may be left for next day owing to arrival of a good number of patients, demanding instant attention? This speculation seemed him quite reasonable. Anyhow, there could be anything. He felt the huge perturbative waves rising inside him during all this time of perplexity. He tried to lull his restlessness, remembering the promise of Dr. Liu.
When Sister Changying came, carrying a file in her hand, Aftab Ahmad surmised that either the sun had set or was about to set. She flashed a paper from the file before his eyes, which was permission orders for him for sighting of sunset at the side or at the back but not from front of the hospital, keeping in view the suitability. It also contained the SOPs and instruction for their strict implementation. She told him that an abrupt increase in patients, which created a tumult up to high levels, caused delay in the preparation of the permission letter. Dr. Liu and all other doctors were tackling up with the emergent phase. Even the doctors and the paramedics, who had gone for a nap in the rest area reserved in the hospital, were also summoned. However, now the situation was in control to much extent, but he would sight his wished scene tomorrow because of arrangements for adoption of precautionary measures. After giving this detail, she placed the permission letter in an empty polythene container of the case history file folder of Aftab Ahmad and left.
The news of receipt of proper permission calmed him down. His inner deluge of edginess soothed down. Now, he started to wait for arrival of Dr. Liu to thank him for his efforts. But, instead of Dr. Liu, a team of two doctors visited and examined him discerningly, recorded their observations in the file and passed some necessary instructions to the nurses, who were other than sisters Changying and Shiaohui.
Aftab Ahmad spent that night, like the nights before, imagining and dreaming the different scenes of sunset. He also indulged in imagining the scenes, he expected to see afterwards. Sometimes, he saw the descending sun in the clear sky, spreading its variegation, but there were no skyscrapers which surrounded Wuhan. Then, he saw the sun in transparent waters of a lake โ which his fascination, or dream, or the in between state, suggested him the Zhiyin lake situated at the flank of the hospital โ and then forming a multi-hued pebbled path after descending a little more. Likewise, sometimes he saw the scene in some plain areas, sometimes at some mountainous range, sometimes somewhere else. Even, his imagination took him to the desert โ probably its reason was his curiosity how would it appear in a desert where he had never been, too. Certainly, the sand particles would shine like stars! Every imagined or dreamed scene was quite complete and so long that he could not know when it was dawn. And now, he was looking at Dr. Liu unblinkingly, whose eyes were swollen and red as though he had not closed them even for a little nap; his staggered movements showed his weariness. First of all, the doctor performed his job and then diverted his attention towards the question in Aftab Ahmadโs eyes.
โThe hospitalโs arrangements โ for instance, spray before taking you out and after coming in, emptiness of corridor from unwanted persons, etc. โ are not a problem; the problem is the oxygen cylinder because these ventilators are fixed permanently and are immovable. We have contacted other hospitals. A small cylinder is available in a hospital. They are sending it over. So, you must be hopeful that you are going to enjoy your most favorite scene.โ When the doctor finished he saw the expressions of calmness, prevailing over Aftab Ahmadโs face. He left, then turned around and said, โI must take a nap to wear off the fatigue a little by then, and these both sisters too. We havenโt even winked for the last thirty six hours. You shouldnโt worry as all the matters are settled, and weโll be got up in time.โ
โThanks, Doctor.โ
Dr. Liu and both the nurses left, saying nothing more.
When countdown starts of meeting a beloved thing or a person, the waiting momentsโ agony buries under joyful thrilling with its specific pleasure and cheerfulness. Aftab Ahmad had the same sort of feelings and sentiments. But, when the moments of waiting start killing all hopes by becoming elongated, and there appears no reasonable justification for it, the melancholy starts to pervade. Seeing the dusk prevailing time at the clock on the front wall, second phase of change in his inner state started, and gradually the dejection and despondence dominated, which could not even be mitigated by the pretexts: Cylinder wonโt have reached, or no body wonโt have got up Dr. Liu, or there would be the flux of more patients who would have needed immediate care on priority basis. Probably, it was difficult for Aftab Ahmad to endure and it could be very harmful for him, if Dr. Liu hadnโt visited that day earlier. ย It seemed the doctor had an idea of this situation.
โIโm sorry, we couldnโt see the sunset today, and wonโt be able tomorrow, too. I hope it would be possible the next day.โ Doctor said instantly, giving him no chance of question.
โWhy, Doctor? Are there more patients?โ
โMore and more patients are being admitted daily. But, perhaps nature still wants your more test. It looks, it wants to see the intensity of your desire.โ The doctor stopped for a while, and then said, โThere are deep clouds in the sky and a drizzle.โ
โReally? At this time of year?โ He spoke extemporaneously. He was rightly bewildered because firstly the ratio of rain and snow fall in Wuhan was to the level of scarcity and, secondly he had never seen rain falling in the month of March during his whole stay there. The weather was always clear and the sun very bright.
โLook,โ the doctor dragged a nearby stool, sat and showed him the screen of his cellular, where the weather prophesying website showed thick clouds and rains in all the three cities of Wuhan. He scrolled the screen with the touch of his thumb pad, and said, โThis weather will persist till tomorrow, and the sun will appear, as usual, over the next day.โ
Seeing his face becoming gaunt, the doctor looked straight into his eyes and said, โDonโt lose heart. We have received oxygen-cylinder; the remaining arrangements are also complete. Today is about to end, and so would tomorrow. We may do a thing to kill this time easily.โ The doctor proposed, talking gently, โPleasant memories are always good things. Share some of them with me; I have some time to spend with you. You have certainly often watched the sunset, havenโt you? Whether it is the same scene every day in all seasons? Or, every time a new and different one?โ
Aftab Ahmad thoughtfully looked at the doctor for a while, and then said, โNo, every next day a new sun sets with a different and new view. Absolutely, a new sun rises and sets every day. Similarly, sighting it is also somewhat distinct, different and new than previous dayโs one.โ His eyes became dreamy, โAll this can be felt but it is very difficult for me to put into words. Take it as that todayโs sun follows the last dayโs one but not completely, with a slight newness. This newness increases day by day with the gradual change of the season, and one day the scene becomes quite a different one. That scene is no more the scene which was in the summer; the springโs scene doesnโt remain the same in the autumn. And when two seasons embrace โ as the winter has passed recently and the spring has come, there was another season between these both seasons โ the scene is different, quite different from all the four regular seasons. These four clear embracing season and their scenes also appear four times a year, but we have attributed them no name names, have we?โ the doctor didnโt interrupt, so he continued, โBesides, the earthen scenes also change with the change of scenes of sunset, those of sunrise also would have changed. Plains, mountains, deserts, banks of lakes or rivers or beaches: every place has its own peculiar scene. Every scene has its own spell to cast.โ He stopped. He started panting owing to speaking long after many a days. Above all, he was a victim of the Corona Virus, whose breath had been out of his control. His lungs would have had torn away if he had not been breathing in ventilator.
Dr. Liu stretched his gloved hand and, gently tapping his shoulder, helped him to calm down. He soothed his breaths and the doctor waited silently, still keeping his hand on his shoulder.
โIn winter, when fog prevails over sky โ not the thick layered fog but that which is made of tiny droplets โ those droplets look like golden stars hemmed up in the sky. The droplets, which are very close to the sun, sometimes look like huge bunches of grapes and sometimes like prisms, reflecting all the seven colors. When the sun descends, the color of droplets also changes into orange and red, and they look like hanging topazes and rubies. Gradually โ when the sun comes more behind the earth โ their one side starts to fall dark, and then slowly, all the droplets hid in darkness, except one side remains yellowish-red as numerous crescents would have arisen. Wow, what a beautiful scene it is! Really incredible! Then, those crescents also set with the sun.โ When he paused for a moment, gasping heavily, the doctor tried to imagine this exquisite scene in his dreamy eyes. โAnd, after the snow falls โ when, the wind has not yet blown, the snow has not yet become mirror like hard but still soft and somewhat foggy โ these colors give a different pleasant sighting. In the dim flickering, the twinkling of snow particles here and there looks like the earth has been decorated with stars. On the other hand, the rays โ reflecting from the hard and bright snow โ are so sharp and piercing.โ
โHmmm,โ the doctor hemmed, watching the wall clock, and tapped his shoulder to bring him back.
โDoctor,โ He said, startling, as though he had returned from some other world, โThe wavering path of colorful pebbles in the lake-water invites you for a walk. Have you ever happened to see that path?โ
โI hope weโll see all these scenes someday together.โ The doctor got up, placing his hands on his knees, โYou told me nothing about the changing colors and scenes in the sky?โ
โOh, yes, Doctor. The colors in the skyโฆ.โ
โExcuse me,โ the doctor interrupted, โIโll listen remaining ones tomorrow. Now, I have to visit so many patients. See you in the evening.โ
But, that evening and next morning, Dr. Liuโs visit remained very serious and short, just to the extent of his examination. It seemed he was very busy. Despite Aftab Ahmadโs knowing about the rain forecast, he asked eagerly about it from the nurses just to lull to sleep his restlessness. He spent that day and coming night in various fantasies and dreams about the next dayโs sighting of sunset.
During his routine visit, the doctor informed him about good news that he must be ready to see the sunset. He was not only already ready for it but was also waiting for it feverously.
As soon as it turned after-noon, Dr. Liu arrived along with both the nurses. He spent time in examining his condition again. Aftab Ahmad waited for him to finish, restlessly. After finishing his job, the doctor dragged the stool like yesterday and said, โYoungman, you described the scenes very beautifully. Why donโt you write down something on this topic? An essay? A story? A book?โ
โDoctor, are we waiting for anything?โ He asked, suppressing writhe arising in him.
โYes,โ Dr. Liu replied, taking a deep breath. โWeโll have to wait for one day more.โ
And he drew his cell-phone and put it before his eyes, touching its screen with the toe of his fore finger. The weather forecast website showed frightful clouds.
โA little earlier, I took a round out of the hospital to see the outside arrangements, the sky was quite clear. Suddenly, clouds appeared from north and they covered whole the sky. Anyhow, theyโll disperse by night, and tomorrow it will be clear all the day. Tell me, what do you think about my proposal?โ
โWhich proposal?โ he asked, absent mindedly.
โTo write down these scenes. You should write sparsely the changing colors of earth and sky with the changing colors of sun beams. I think, you have a good ability to describe your deep observations excellently.โ
โDoctor, the colors of skyโฆ.โ
He had started that a nurse rushed in and said, โDoctor, you are urgently needed there.โ
โExcuse me,โ the doctor hurriedly said, standing abruptly, โThink over my suggestion. Weโll surely sight it tomorrow.โ
Next day, after the morning routine check-up, Dr. Liu arrived at after-noon. โThe day of accomplishment!โ He exclaimed, as he appeared. โYou were worried over a petty delay.โ
After passing necessary instructions to his fellow staff, doctor started his examination โ breathing rate, heart-beat, pulse, blood pressure, body temperature through infrared thermo-meter. โRelax. Avoid excitement. Youโre not going sighting the scene for the first time in your lifeโฆ or the last time. Take it just as you are going to restore your routine.โ Then he took off the ventilatorโs mask from his mouth, and said, โTake some deep breaths. It will help you in keeping relaxed.โ
He casted some glances over different machines, waiting for his condition to settle down, and then said, โRemember, if you donโt try to keep yourself stable this time, you wonโt get the chance again.โ
โYes, Doctor,โ Aftab Ahmad assured. โIโll try my best to keep me up.โ
โGood,โ Then he said to the staff, โHurry up, remove the pipe of mask from ventilator, plug it with cylinder, placing it at the pillow side of the bed.โ
In the corridor, moving along wheeled bed, Dr. Liu said, โThere is about an hour in the sunset. Youโll sight very sufficiently in all the meanwhile.โ
Aftab Ahmad nodded, silently.
โOh, yes,โ the doctor said, suddenly, as though he had remembered something, โDid you consider my proposal?โ
โYes, Doctor, I spent last night deeply thinking over it. I pondered over the best words to write all the scenes I have seen so far.โ
โWell, well. What will you write? An essay? A short story? Or a novel? Or a book of some other genre?โ
โWhat do you think, Doctor? What shall be better?โ
โI thinkโฆ. Hmmm,โ The doctor thought, โI thinkโฆโ
And thus, the doctor kept him entangled in conversation so that he might not get anxious.
When he was took out of the hospital through a side gate, his eyes found the descending sun fully brightened beside a skyscraper. There was no other edifice adjacent to that skyscraper on the side where sun hung, and the sight reached unto the horizon as no obstacle hindered his eyes. The doctor had chosen an excellent site for sighting the scene. Both the persons, who pushed the wheeled bed, went back without turning around on the heels, and joined the other staff, which had already stopped at the entrance. Aftab Ahmad watched the sun joyfully, and then moved his eyes towards Dr. Liu.
โYes,โ Dr. Liu, who was already gazing at him, bent a little. He placed one of his gloved hands on his shoulder and stretched second one to the sun. โIt is there.โ
Aftab Ahmad turned his head, and again keenly looked at the sun. Above it scattered white small clouds with golden colored lower edges โ the remnants of heavy clouds of the previous two days. His gaze turned around the sun, because its rays were still much bright that pierced eyes, and on seeing for a while they might cause temporary blindness with the birth of brightened and rolling sphere of the sun in the eyes. It might deprive him of sighting the scene for a large portion of that short span of time. The sunโs side facing the skyscraper was very bright but its faรงade was a little dark. His stare slid down the earth. He lay in the bed on a road, which reached to the hospital side gate and met with the main road at the other end. He found the main road, which always remained busy with plenty of cars, buses and other vehicles, was deserted that day. He slowly turned his eyes all around in amazement. There was a howling wilderness everywhere. Desolation and terrifying stillness hung everywhere in the surroundings. Even, no bird was seen. Probably, they had also locked-down themselves in terror, or in showing unity with human beings. It was that sort of stillness which he had always desired so that he might sight his favorite scene in deep dumbfound. But now, this stillness pierced inside him like a sharp dagger.
When the sun completely set and dusk started to prevail over remnants of reddishness, he startled on calling of Dr. Liu to his staff.
โYearning is very essential to love life, whether it is to adore the some sort of a particular scene of nature.โ The doctor said to him, in the corridor, โYou can even defeat death with this yearningโฆ. as you have done.โ
Raising his eyes, he looked at the doctor, stunned.
โYes,โ the doctor winked affirmatively, โWe had lost all hopes about you. But, then, the yearning of sighting sunset made you forget your severe illness and premonition of death. You forgot coughing and panting, which started healing your wounds of lungs, esophagus and trachea; medicines became effective. During the last three days, your body temperature started to fall down gradually, and it became normal today. In these days, we judged your breathing capability by stopping the oxygen first for short spans and then for long breaks, and today you are breathing without the ventilator. Thatโs why, I repeatedly assured you, and I assure you again now, it was not your last sunset.โ
While Dr. Liu talked, Aftab Ahmad listened in bewilderment with open mouth as he reminisced all about his illness โ the coughing had caused severe pain in his back and fore ribs, and his lungs, even a light coughing was also unbearable, and he himself felt his body very hot with high fever, but now the cough teased him very little during the last few days and he felt a little hard in breathing; probably due to the light of hop, which the sun had brightened in him. In the meanwhile, his bed reached to its particular place.
โYou may spend tonight imagining your favorite scene youโll be seeing in the coming days, or todayโs sighting, or the scenes you watched in the past. Tomorrow, your sample will be sent for the fresh test. I can surely guess on the basis of symptoms that the result will be negative.โ Doctor said.
โDoctor, it was a very gloomy scene today โ void of life, or having deep impression of confinement of life. Not even a single bird flew before the sun, as the usually do before dusk.โ His voice was full with deep commiseration and sadness.
โI hope all will be well โ very soon.โ The doctor tapped his shoulder, consolingly. โItโs better to avoid gloomy thoughts.โ
โThanks, doctor.โ He said to the doctor, who was turning around to leave back. โI shall always remember your kindness โ always.โ
The doctor nodded and left without a reply.
It was nurse Shiaohui, who gave him good news of negative result of his test in a chirping voice. โCongratulations. Though you donโt like Shiaohui โ the morningโs soft sunlight โ but I congratulate you a new morning of your life. You are being shifted to Isolation Ward immediately.โ
โCan I see Dr. Liu, before shifting?โ
โNo, he is very busy.โ
ย
After keeping him in Isolation Ward for two days, Aftab Ahmad was further shifted to Quarantine Ward, where his sample was again taken a few days later. When the result of this test also came out negative, there was no reason to keep him in the hospital any more.
โDoctor,โ He said to the doctor, who had delivered him happy news of his discharge from the hospital. โWhere can I see Dr. Liu?โ
Since, there had been a wide gossip about his strange wish of sighting of the sunset amongst all staff of the hospital, and it was referred before him time and again with keen interest, hence, the desire of meeting with Dr. Liu was not an astounding thing for them.
โYou canโt see him. He has been in Isolation for the last few days after positive result of his COVID-19 test.โ The doctor replied, blankly.
He was deeply shocked.
After completion of all the necessary documentations, when ambulance brought him out of the hospital he cast the last glance through the window pane over the side, where he had witnessed the sunset, he saw an alert platoon of Peoples Liberation Army presenting Guard of Honor to all the faculty of hospital, certainly except Dr. Liu. His grief deepened.
โฆ.
(Self-translation from Urdu)
****
ย
ย
โDoctor, I want to… to see the last… sunset… of my life.โ
Many other patients had also expressed their idiotic and impracticable wishes โ like taking a long stroll, or a saunter for longer time, or to see their loved ones. But, the yearning of this patient, who was coughing and breathing inconsecutively โ definitely the last wish โ was not so exaggerated, which could not be fulfilled, Doctor thought.
He, pursing his lips, looked at the patientโs wide open mouth, which was encased in the ventilatorโs pane. He was also covered from head to toe in a blue stripped white dress like that of astronauts โ hands in white gloves, head under a casque with open front, but eyes under goggles of transparent glasses, nose and mouth covered with N-95 mask. His eyes travelled from patientโs mouth to eyes, where a despair and wistfulness spread with the whiteness of premonition of death. Doctor, tilting his head and stealing gaze, picked up the patientโs case history file from the metallic cabinet placed beside his bed.
Patientโs name was Aftab Ahmad, who was a Pakistani student and had come to China for studying in Chinese Academy of Engineering of Wuhan University. He was in his final year, expecting his return to his home country in the month of June after his examinations that the epidemic of Corona Virus abruptly broke out in Wuhan โ which soon became a pandemic, spreading throughout the globe โ and he was also admitted, along with other victims, in Huoshenshan Hospital. After a few days in Quarantine, then in Isolation, and now he was in ICU where Dr. Liu was also one of the physicians, attending him day and night. Since, he had found Dr. Liu and both the nurses attending him successively with tenderness, he took the courage to express his wish before them.
After studying the file, Dr. Liu prescribed a few medicines and, tick-marking one of them, said to the nearby nurse, โSister Changying, it should be injected immediately. Remaining medicines will continue as prescribed.โ
Before departing, he looked at the patient stealthily from the corners of his eyes; he noticed that the patient had already been fixing his requesting and hopeful eyes over him.
โDoctor, pleaseโฆ Itโsโฆ my last wish.โ He again beseeched in stammering voice. โThe last wish ofโฆ a dying personโฆ never refused anywhereโฆ in the world.โ
The doctor turned around and stared at him. Then, his eyes became thoughtful as he was wondering over his request. He stood motionless for a while with his eyes lost in thoughts, gazing at him.
โDoctorโฆ for Godโsโฆ sake!โ Patient again beseeched.
โHamm…!โ the doctor startled.
โDoctor…?โ
Dr. Liu stopped him, lifting his hand, and then said, โI value your wish. But, I canโt decide it by myself. Iโll have to take permission from the high-ups.โ He paused for a moment; the patient anxiously waited for him to speak, without averting his gaze. However, the shadows of desperation deepened in his eyes because he was well aware that the hospital was run under the strict discipline and control of Peoples Liberation Army. It was only then his attention diverted a slightly when the nurse, who had already prepared an injection, pricked needle in the branula on the back of his palm.
When the nurse pulled needle out of the branula, the doctor took a deep breath and continued, โIโll take it up with them. Iโm convinced it wonโt be rejected.โ
The patientโs eyes gleamed and the despondence seemed receding. His demeanor was that of thankfulness.
โThank youโฆ Doctor. Thanksโฆa lot.โ He stammered with delight.
casted a last glance over his tear-filled eyes and started towards the door. Then, he stopped abruptly and turned around again, and smiled encouragingly โI assure you, itโs definitely not your last wish.โ
But, there was an obvious uncertainty in his voice because the patientโs condition was precarious. However, he had done his job well what he could do to the best of his abilities because a doctor must always keep the hope alive.
โDoctor, todayโฆ the sunโฆ has set. Can Iโฆ hope to see itโฆ tomorrowโฆ after-noon?โ He asked when the doctor again visited that evening for his check-up.
โYes, absolutely. Why not! I hope, I shall be able to obtain permission by tomorrow and youโll see the sunset.โ
โThanksโฆ Doctor.โ The patient thanked him this time with self-appeasement, and closed his eyes, the tears slid down on his cheeks with the blink.
As the drip had to take its time to finish, and no other medicine or injection was to be administered to the patient, both the nurses also left behind the doctor.
After a few minutes, he heard the sound of foot-steps near his bed and opened his eyes. He saw one of the nurses โ her name was Shiaohui โ was taking his case history file out of metallic cabinetโs drawer. She watched him opening his eyes and smiled, which slightly lifted her cheeks up and made the crowโs paw around her eyes. She asked softly, โDo you like seeing sunset much more than anything?โ
โYes, too much.โ He said in low voice, โI have never missed it except these recent few days. I donโt know why the setting sun, its turning from golden to red, and the objects changing their colors too โ trees, plants, leaves, flowers, mountains, earth, even the sun itself โ always enchants and fascinates me and vitalize me to go through the next day to watch the next sunset.โ
She nodded and left, smilingly.
Sometimes โ at least certainly once in life โ your eyes encounter a wonderful, bewitching scenery or a dominating personality that you neither get rid of its spell throughout your life nor you want to, but it becomes the adore of life itself. Later, whenever you remember it โ and you often remember it โ it seems all the scene has become alive before eyes, making you still and breathless. So, the same had also happened with Aftab Ahmad. He was hardly seven or eight years old when he watched the sunset for the first time. He was engrossed in playing with other children outside of his village in a field, which was left uncultivated after picking up cotton and pulling out petioles, that suddenly he happened to have a look at the sun a little before its setting in the west; the brightened gild of the sun dumbfounded him and did not allow him to move further even an inch. He left the ball where it was and watched the sun mesmerized that he could neither hear the shouting calls of the co-players of his side nor the loud fuss of the opponents. He stepped forward towards the sun in that stupefied and enchanted state as though the grandeur of the scene made him oblivious of the world around him. He stretched his arms towards the sun as though he would reach out to place it on his palm. Stepping forward, he startled when he stumbled with a ridge of the field. He looked down angrily at the impediment, and then turned his eyes around him. Gild prevailed everywhere, like someone had sprayed golden powder on all things by moving the magic wand. The dazzling of wheat plants had risen, and they looked completely made of gold. The dust particles on the leaves of trees, standing on ridges, gleamed like golden stars. The original color of each and every object had quelled and changed. And when the sun gradually descended a little more, the blend of orange color in its golden glow gave the environment another charming guise. And again, when it descended further, its face reddened like that of the person who flushed with wrath on someoneโs talk or action against his temperament. On seeing its obliteration imminent, the sun seemed enraged. It cast its red tinged golden-orange rays on the earth, all the earthly things along with the sky and atmosphere flashed that red tinge. And when the redness vanquished golden, orange and other lightly tinged colors, withering them secretly, the layer of blusher deepened over the whole universe, like recently refreshed layer of lipstick by a belle. And then, the dusk gradually prevailed over everything. During that short span of time, a lot of talismanic facets, changing with the mingling of different colors โ which Aftab Ahmad could not narrate in words, but his soul felt very deep โ and that one scene took him under its spell so that he could never got rid of it.
Until Aftab Ahmad stayed in his village โ until his youth โ he would walk out of the village to fill the scene in his soul, sitting at an aloof place quite dumbfounded till the dusk fall. If someday, the small clouds scattered on the sky, the sifting through golden, orange and red rays would bring a new magic. However, occasionally, thick clouds โ often those of the fall season โ made Aftab Ahmad dejected and gloomy because his most favorite scene had been seized. Anyhow, he never missed the scene but it was the scene which always tricked him, making him desperate. Twice, he went on spree to the northern areas of Pakistan โ first, with other students of his college and secondly with some of his close friends โ but the absence of sunset at those mountainous area filled in him a kind of dejection. Instead of plain areas, the sun would instantly disappear behind a mountain and dusk started to fall, whereas it was still day time. He would solace himself with the gradually disappearing light behind the peaks, but comforting always made him more edgy. Before arriving at Wuhan, he had planned how he would enjoy the scene, that he would also keep a bicycle โ as the Chinese do โ to cycle himself outside the settlement. But, there was no need of it. The roof-top of the last storey of multiple storeyed studentsโ hostel solved his problem. If it wouldnโt had happened, he would had to go under a lot of labor, because Wuhan โ the capital of Province Hubei of Central China, divided by the rivers Yangtze and Han, comprises of three adjacent cities, and it is given a common name of โWuhanโ by taking the first alphabet of these cities โ Wuchang, Hankou and Hanyang โ a thickly populated city spread over miles with skyscrapers, which, like the mountains, hid the sun early before it sets. But, soon Aftab Ahmad found a place, where he could brim fully to watch the sunset till its last moment โ the bank of most beautiful and picturesque Eastern Lake. Its water reflected the sun beams across the lake like a path having several tinges of different colors, changing at every moment and at last becoming red. The billowing of waves made ebb and flow on the path that it appeared to be the pavement of golden, orange and red pebbles arranged artistically โ another bewitching scene to which he would had been deprived of in Pakistan until he indecently encountered at the bank of a pond or a lake.
Aftab Ahmad spent whole the night in imagining and dreaming that he could not know when the nurse came to remove the emptying drip or to administer him more injections? When his case file was brought back and placed in the drawer of the metallic cabin? He was even oblivious whether his nappy was changed at 9:00 p.m. as per routine or not? However, now, in the morning, he opened his eyes, feeling his trousers sliding down, and saw the sweepers with a trolley loaded with heaps of fresh pampers, wipes, bottles of Dettol, sanitizers, and another trolley, containing a lidded big basket at its atop, to throw in dirty pampers removed from patients. He spoke extemporaneously, โIโm clean.โ But they continued their job, paying no heed to him. After finishing his task, again sliding up his trousers, a worker said, โItโs necessary to avoid rashes and scabies. Now, you will be served again at 9:00 p.m. Right?โ
He nodded.
The doctor, accompanied by the both nurses, visited at his fixed time and told him that the authorities had been informed in writing about his wish, requesting for approval on humanitarian grounds; he had also tried personally to convince them being his attending physician, and expected that they would receive a positive response soon. Reliance in cadence of the doctor inserted in him a spirit and resolution filled with a sort of relief. The doctor appeared to be a gentle and sympathetic person, who was doing his best just to fulfill his wish. He found himself filled with intense feelings of gratitude for the doctor, and his eyes flooded with tears. The doctor tapped his shoulder to console him and once again assured that he would be seeing the sunset no later.
Though, the permission was not received that day, however, the doctor again bucked him up with aplomb, โDonโt worry. I believe weโll both watch the sunset tomorrow.โ
โDoctor, will the permission be received by tomorrow noon?โ He asked suspiciously.
โYes. Why not. Perhaps, by tonight or by tomorrow morning. Iโm sure because Iโve been assured. Why donโt you do a thing?โ
Aftab Ahmad looked towards the doctor inquisitively.
โYour desire reveals that you love this scene so much and you often watched it. So, you must forget your disease by then and in the meanwhile, from the scenes of past, imagine how much alluring the scene would be, weโll really see.โ
The doctorโs proposal was plausible, but the midmost state in between the apprehension of grant and rejection of his request was more dominating. It caused to spend the night that whenever imagination got power it fell down with the serpent of fear. Anyhow, this perplexity threw off the gloominess and dejection infested in him due to his illness.
Next day, the nurses visited at their usual time of 11:00 a.m. but they were not accompanied with any doctor โ not even Dr. Liu. He impatiently asked about Dr. Liu. Sister Changying replied in her professional way, โWe have suddenly received a lot of patients, who need immediate attention. Dr. Liu and other doctors are providing them treatment in other ICUs. As soon as he is free, heโll visit.โ
โHeโll be here just in a while. You wonโt have to wait for longer.โ Sister Shiaohui said, pointing thermo-gun.
โI just wanted to know about progress upon my request?โ He asked.
Both the nurses looked at each other, diverting their attention from what they were performing.
โOnly Dr. Liu knows.โ Sister Shiaohui replied.
They finished and left him, perturbed. He spent almost two hours of wait, counting the distressful moments.
When Dr. Liu visited, accompanying only Sister Changying. He asked cheerfully, โHello young man, how are you?โ
โDoctor, Iโm much up-set.โ He replied, honestly.
โHmmโฆโ Doctor asked, โUp-set? Why?โ And he started to record his blood-pressure, pulse, heartbeat, and clatters in the chest.
He opened his mouth for an answer but then tightly shut it up, watching doctor busy, but his eyes were still questioning.
โSister,โ He said to the nurse, โWho checked-up earlier?โ
โSister Shiaohui, Doctor,โ
โPlease, call in her.โ
โYes, Doctor.โ Nurse Changying said and left.
The doctor asked him to turn over. Then, he put stethoscope on his back, measured effusion of breaths in his lungs and recorded results in the file. In the meanwhile, both the nurses turned up.
โSister, why is this difference between our readings โ yours and mine?โ the doctor advanced file towards the nurse Shiaohui.
โDoctor, it was the readings at that time.โ Nurse replied.
โHuh,โ the doctor chimed in and turned towards Aftab Ahmad, โWhy are you so much fond of watching the sunset? Donโt you want to see anyone else?โ Then, he added, remembering, โOh, you are a Pakistani. Parents, brother or sister โ anyone else โ we may arrange a meeting through video call.โ
โDoctor, I miss them very much, but theyโll be aggrieved when theyโll see me in this condition. The news of spread of epidemic would have certainly reached to them and they would already be very worried for me. I donโt want them to be gloomy anymore.โ
โSo you contented yourself to see this scene, huh?โ
โNo, Doctor. My name is Aftab โ the Sun. Probably, for this reason, Iโm fascinated by it. Iโve told this to Sister Shiaohui, too.โ
โShiaohui,โ Doctor spoke, thoughtfully, โDo you know the meaning of Shiaohui?โ
โYes, Doctor.โ He replied. โEarly morningโs soft sunlight.โ He had been living in China for the last four years and had learnt Chinese language very well.
โIf you wished to see the sun rising, I would suggest you instantly without any hesitation to see Sister Shiaohui.โ The doctor joked with a low guffaw; both the nurses gave a little laugh, too.
โThere is no incantation in the sun rising, which the sunset bears. You may see difference by sighting both scenes yourself.โ
โOh, well. So, you observed both the scenes deeply.โ
โYes, Doctor. The rising takes little time with weak fascination, whereas, the sunsetโฆ.โ
โAlright, alright,โ Doctor interrupted. โHowever, there is good news for you that permission has been granted conditionally, with the adoption of some SOPs. But weโre waiting for the written orders. As soon as we receive it, weโll take you to see the scene today after noon. Right?โ
โYes, Doctor. Thank you, thank you so much.โ
In response, the doctor smiled and left. And he began to wait for the permission letter eagerly, praying for its earliest receipt.
The evening had fallen. During this duration, the paramedics had been coming and going intermittently, but Dr. Liu and the two nurses did not appear even for once. Probably, doctor would be busy in providing immediate treatment to the new patients, but nurses? Nurses are also the special assistants to the doctors. But, anyone could have come to give him the good news. May the permission orders be still awaited? Or may be received? But, the other arrangements could not have been completed? Or the permission letter would have been received by some irrelevant person, who had no idea of its importance and he must had placed it somewhere, warding off the issue for later, due to emergent engrossments? Or the matter may be left for next day owing to arrival of a good number of patients, demanding instant attention? This speculation seemed him quite reasonable. Anyhow, there could be anything. He felt the huge perturbative waves rising inside him during all this time of perplexity. He tried to lull his restlessness, remembering the promise of Dr. Liu.
When Sister Changying came, carrying a file in her hand, Aftab Ahmad surmised that either the sun had set or was about to set. She flashed a paper from the file before his eyes, which was permission orders for him for sighting of sunset at the side or at the back but not from front of the hospital, keeping in view the suitability. It also contained the SOPs and instruction for their strict implementation. She told him that an abrupt increase in patients, which created a tumult up to high levels, caused delay in the preparation of the permission letter. Dr. Liu and all other doctors were tackling up with the emergent phase. Even the doctors and the paramedics, who had gone for a nap in the rest area reserved in the hospital, were also summoned. However, now the situation was in control to much extent, but he would sight his wished scene tomorrow because of arrangements for adoption of precautionary measures. After giving this detail, she placed the permission letter in an empty polythene container of the case history file folder of Aftab Ahmad and left.
The news of receipt of proper permission calmed him down. His inner deluge of edginess soothed down. Now, he started to wait for arrival of Dr. Liu to thank him for his efforts. But, instead of Dr. Liu, a team of two doctors visited and examined him discerningly, recorded their observations in the file and passed some necessary instructions to the nurses, who were other than sisters Changying and Shiaohui.
Aftab Ahmad spent that night, like the nights before, imagining and dreaming the different scenes of sunset. He also indulged in imagining the scenes, he expected to see afterwards. Sometimes, he saw the descending sun in the clear sky, spreading its variegation, but there were no skyscrapers which surrounded Wuhan. Then, he saw the sun in transparent waters of a lake โ which his fascination, or dream, or the in between state, suggested him the Zhiyin lake situated at the flank of the hospital โ and then forming a multi-hued pebbled path after descending a little more. Likewise, sometimes he saw the scene in some plain areas, sometimes at some mountainous range, sometimes somewhere else. Even, his imagination took him to the desert โ probably its reason was his curiosity how would it appear in a desert where he had never been, too. Certainly, the sand particles would shine like stars! Every imagined or dreamed scene was quite complete and so long that he could not know when it was dawn. And now, he was looking at Dr. Liu unblinkingly, whose eyes were swollen and red as though he had not closed them even for a little nap; his staggered movements showed his weariness. First of all, the doctor performed his job and then diverted his attention towards the question in Aftab Ahmadโs eyes.
โThe hospitalโs arrangements โ for instance, spray before taking you out and after coming in, emptiness of corridor from unwanted persons, etc. โ are not a problem; the problem is the oxygen cylinder because these ventilators are fixed permanently and are immovable. We have contacted other hospitals. A small cylinder is available in a hospital. They are sending it over. So, you must be hopeful that you are going to enjoy your most favorite scene.โ When the doctor finished he saw the expressions of calmness, prevailing over Aftab Ahmadโs face. He left, then turned around and said, โI must take a nap to wear off the fatigue a little by then, and these both sisters too. We havenโt even winked for the last thirty six hours. You shouldnโt worry as all the matters are settled, and weโll be got up in time.โ
โThanks, Doctor.โ
Dr. Liu and both the nurses left, saying nothing more.
When countdown starts of meeting a beloved thing or a person, the waiting momentsโ agony buries under joyful thrilling with its specific pleasure and cheerfulness. Aftab Ahmad had the same sort of feelings and sentiments. But, when the moments of waiting start killing all hopes by becoming elongated, and there appears no reasonable justification for it, the melancholy starts to pervade. Seeing the dusk prevailing time at the clock on the front wall, second phase of change in his inner state started, and gradually the dejection and despondence dominated, which could not even be mitigated by the pretexts: Cylinder wonโt have reached, or no body wonโt have got up Dr. Liu, or there would be the flux of more patients who would have needed immediate care on priority basis. Probably, it was difficult for Aftab Ahmad to endure and it could be very harmful for him, if Dr. Liu hadnโt visited that day earlier. It seemed the doctor had an idea of this situation.
โIโm sorry, we couldnโt see the sunset today, and wonโt be able tomorrow, too. I hope it would be possible the next day.โ Doctor said instantly, giving him no chance of question.
โWhy, Doctor? Are there more patients?โ
โMore and more patients are being admitted daily. But, perhaps nature still wants your more test. It looks, it wants to see the intensity of your desire.โ The doctor stopped for a while, and then said, โThere are deep clouds in the sky and a drizzle.โ
โReally? At this time of year?โ He spoke extemporaneously. He was rightly bewildered because firstly the ratio of rain and snow fall in Wuhan was to the level of scarcity and, secondly he had never seen rain falling in the month of March during his whole stay there. The weather was always clear and the sun very bright.
โLook,โ the doctor dragged a nearby stool, sat and showed him the screen of his cellular, where the weather prophesying website showed thick clouds and rains in all the three cities of Wuhan. He scrolled the screen with the touch of his thumb pad, and said, โThis weather will persist till tomorrow, and the sun will appear, as usual, over the next day.โ
Seeing his face becoming gaunt, the doctor looked straight into his eyes and said, โDonโt lose heart. We have received oxygen-cylinder; the remaining arrangements are also complete. Today is about to end, and so would tomorrow. We may do a thing to kill this time easily.โ The doctor proposed, talking gently, โPleasant memories are always good things. Share some of them with me; I have some time to spend with you. You have certainly often watched the sunset, havenโt you? Whether it is the same scene every day in all seasons? Or, every time a new and different one?โ
Aftab Ahmad thoughtfully looked at the doctor for a while, and then said, โNo, every next day a new sun sets with a different and new view. Absolutely, a new sun rises and sets every day. Similarly, sighting it is also somewhat distinct, different and new than previous dayโs one.โ His eyes became dreamy, โAll this can be felt but it is very difficult for me to put into words. Take it as that todayโs sun follows the last dayโs one but not completely, with a slight newness. This newness increases day by day with the gradual change of the season, and one day the scene becomes quite a different one. That scene is no more the scene which was in the summer; the springโs scene doesnโt remain the same in the autumn. And when two seasons embrace โ as the winter has passed recently and the spring has come, there was another season between these both seasons โ the scene is different, quite different from all the four regular seasons. These four clear embracing season and their scenes also appear four times a year, but we have attributed them no name names, have we?โ the doctor didnโt interrupt, so he continued, โBesides, the earthen scenes also change with the change of scenes of sunset, those of sunrise also would have changed. Plains, mountains, deserts, banks of lakes or rivers or beaches: every place has its own peculiar scene. Every scene has its own spell to cast.โ He stopped. He started panting owing to speaking long after many a days. Above all, he was a victim of the Corona Virus, whose breath had been out of his control. His lungs would have had torn away if he had not been breathing in ventilator.
Dr. Liu stretched his gloved hand and, gently tapping his shoulder, helped him to calm down. He soothed his breaths and the doctor waited silently, still keeping his hand on his shoulder.
โIn winter, when fog prevails over sky โ not the thick layered fog but that which is made of tiny droplets โ those droplets look like golden stars hemmed up in the sky. The droplets, which are very close to the sun, sometimes look like huge bunches of grapes and sometimes like prisms, reflecting all the seven colors. When the sun descends, the color of droplets also changes into orange and red, and they look like hanging topazes and rubies. Gradually โ when the sun comes more behind the earth โ their one side starts to fall dark, and then slowly, all the droplets hid in darkness, except one side remains yellowish-red as numerous crescents would have arisen. Wow, what a beautiful scene it is! Really incredible! Then, those crescents also set with the sun.โ When he paused for a moment, gasping heavily, the doctor tried to imagine this exquisite scene in his dreamy eyes. โAnd, after the snow falls โ when, the wind has not yet blown, the snow has not yet become mirror like hard but still soft and somewhat foggy โ these colors give a different pleasant sighting. In the dim flickering, the twinkling of snow particles here and there looks like the earth has been decorated with stars. On the other hand, the rays โ reflecting from the hard and bright snow โ are so sharp and piercing.โ
โHmmm,โ the doctor hemmed, watching the wall clock, and tapped his shoulder to bring him back.
โDoctor,โ He said, startling, as though he had returned from some other world, โThe wavering path of colorful pebbles in the lake-water invites you for a walk. Have you ever happened to see that path?โ
โI hope weโll see all these scenes someday together.โ The doctor got up, placing his hands on his knees, โYou told me nothing about the changing colors and scenes in the sky?โ
โOh, yes, Doctor. The colors in the skyโฆ.โ
โExcuse me,โ the doctor interrupted, โIโll listen remaining ones tomorrow. Now, I have to visit so many patients. See you in the evening.โ
But, that evening and next morning, Dr. Liuโs visit remained very serious and short, just to the extent of his examination. It seemed he was very busy. Despite Aftab Ahmadโs knowing about the rain forecast, he asked eagerly about it from the nurses just to lull to sleep his restlessness. He spent that day and coming night in various fantasies and dreams about the next dayโs sighting of sunset.
During his routine visit, the doctor informed him about good news that he must be ready to see the sunset. He was not only already ready for it but was also waiting for it feverously.
As soon as it turned after-noon, Dr. Liu arrived along with both the nurses. He spent time in examining his condition again. Aftab Ahmad waited for him to finish, restlessly. After finishing his job, the doctor dragged the stool like yesterday and said, โYoungman, you described the scenes very beautifully. Why donโt you write down something on this topic? An essay? A story? A book?โ
โDoctor, are we waiting for anything?โ He asked, suppressing writhe arising in him.
โYes,โ Dr. Liu replied, taking a deep breath. โWeโll have to wait for one day more.โ
And he drew his cell-phone and put it before his eyes, touching its screen with the toe of his fore finger. The weather forecast website showed frightful clouds.
โA little earlier, I took a round out of the hospital to see the outside arrangements, the sky was quite clear. Suddenly, clouds appeared from north and they covered whole the sky. Anyhow, theyโll disperse by night, and tomorrow it will be clear all the day. Tell me, what do you think about my proposal?โ
โWhich proposal?โ he asked, absent mindedly.
โTo write down these scenes. You should write sparsely the changing colors of earth and sky with the changing colors of sun beams. I think, you have a good ability to describe your deep observations excellently.โ
โDoctor, the colors of skyโฆ.โ
He had started that a nurse rushed in and said, โDoctor, you are urgently needed there.โ
โExcuse me,โ the doctor hurriedly said, standing abruptly, โThink over my suggestion. Weโll surely sight it tomorrow.โ
Next day, after the morning routine check-up, Dr. Liu arrived at after-noon. โThe day of accomplishment!โ He exclaimed, as he appeared. โYou were worried over a petty delay.โ
After passing necessary instructions to his fellow staff, doctor started his examination โ breathing rate, heart-beat, pulse, blood pressure, body temperature through infrared thermo-meter. โRelax. Avoid excitement. Youโre not going sighting the scene for the first time in your lifeโฆ or the last time. Take it just as you are going to restore your routine.โ Then he took off the ventilatorโs mask from his mouth, and said, โTake some deep breaths. It will help you in keeping relaxed.โ
He casted some glances over different machines, waiting for his condition to settle down, and then said, โRemember, if you donโt try to keep yourself stable this time, you wonโt get the chance again.โ
โYes, Doctor,โ Aftab Ahmad assured. โIโll try my best to keep me up.โ
โGood,โ Then he said to the staff, โHurry up, remove the pipe of mask from ventilator, plug it with cylinder, placing it at the pillow side of the bed.โ
In the corridor, moving along wheeled bed, Dr. Liu said, โThere is about an hour in the sunset. Youโll sight very sufficiently in all the meanwhile.โ
Aftab Ahmad nodded, silently.
โOh, yes,โ the doctor said, suddenly, as though he had remembered something, โDid you consider my proposal?โ
โYes, Doctor, I spent last night deeply thinking over it. I pondered over the best words to write all the scenes I have seen so far.โ
โWell, well. What will you write? An essay? A short story? Or a novel? Or a book of some other genre?โ
โWhat do you think, Doctor? What shall be better?โ
โI thinkโฆ. Hmmm,โ The doctor thought, โI thinkโฆโ
And thus, the doctor kept him entangled in conversation so that he might not get anxious.
When he was took out of the hospital through a side gate, his eyes found the descending sun fully brightened beside a skyscraper. There was no other edifice adjacent to that skyscraper on the side where sun hung, and the sight reached unto the horizon as no obstacle hindered his eyes. The doctor had chosen an excellent site for sighting the scene. Both the persons, who pushed the wheeled bed, went back without turning around on the heels, and joined the other staff, which had already stopped at the entrance. Aftab Ahmad watched the sun joyfully, and then moved his eyes towards Dr. Liu.
โYes,โ Dr. Liu, who was already gazing at him, bent a little. He placed one of his gloved hands on his shoulder and stretched second one to the sun. โIt is there.โ
Aftab Ahmad turned his head, and again keenly looked at the sun. Above it scattered white small clouds with golden colored lower edges โ the remnants of heavy clouds of the previous two days. His gaze turned around the sun, because its rays were still much bright that pierced eyes, and on seeing for a while they might cause temporary blindness with the birth of brightened and rolling sphere of the sun in the eyes. It might deprive him of sighting the scene for a large portion of that short span of time. The sunโs side facing the skyscraper was very bright but its faรงade was a little dark. His stare slid down the earth. He lay in the bed on a road, which reached to the hospital side gate and met with the main road at the other end. He found the main road, which always remained busy with plenty of cars, buses and other vehicles, was deserted that day. He slowly turned his eyes all around in amazement. There was a howling wilderness everywhere. Desolation and terrifying stillness hung everywhere in the surroundings. Even, no bird was seen. Probably, they had also locked-down themselves in terror, or in showing unity with human beings. It was that sort of stillness which he had always desired so that he might sight his favorite scene in deep dumbfound. But now, this stillness pierced inside him like a sharp dagger.
When the sun completely set and dusk started to prevail over remnants of reddishness, he startled on calling of Dr. Liu to his staff.
โYearning is very essential to love life, whether it is to adore the some sort of a particular scene of nature.โ The doctor said to him, in the corridor, โYou can even defeat death with this yearningโฆ. as you have done.โ
Raising his eyes, he looked at the doctor, stunned.
โYes,โ the doctor winked affirmatively, โWe had lost all hopes about you. But, then, the yearning of sighting sunset made you forget your severe illness and premonition of death. You forgot coughing and panting, which started healing your wounds of lungs, esophagus and trachea; medicines became effective. During the last three days, your body temperature started to fall down gradually, and it became normal today. In these days, we judged your breathing capability by stopping the oxygen first for short spans and then for long breaks, and today you are breathing without the ventilator. Thatโs why, I repeatedly assured you, and I assure you again now, it was not your last sunset.โ
While Dr. Liu talked, Aftab Ahmad listened in bewilderment with open mouth as he reminisced all about his illness โ the coughing had caused severe pain in his back and fore ribs, and his lungs, even a light coughing was also unbearable, and he himself felt his body very hot with high fever, but now the cough teased him very little during the last few days and he felt a little hard in breathing; probably due to the light of hop, which the sun had brightened in him. In the meanwhile, his bed reached to its particular place.
โYou may spend tonight imagining your favorite scene youโll be seeing in the coming days, or todayโs sighting, or the scenes you watched in the past. Tomorrow, your sample will be sent for the fresh test. I can surely guess on the basis of symptoms that the result will be negative.โ Doctor said.
โDoctor, it was a very gloomy scene today โ void of life, or having deep impression of confinement of life. Not even a single bird flew before the sun, as the usually do before dusk.โ His voice was full with deep commiseration and sadness.
โI hope all will be well โ very soon.โ The doctor tapped his shoulder, consolingly. โItโs better to avoid gloomy thoughts.โ
โThanks, doctor.โ He said to the doctor, who was turning around to leave back. โI shall always remember your kindness โ always.โ
The doctor nodded and left without a reply.
It was nurse Shiaohui, who gave him good news of negative result of his test in a chirping voice. โCongratulations. Though you donโt like Shiaohui โ the morningโs soft sunlight โ but I congratulate you a new morning of your life. You are being shifted to Isolation Ward immediately.โ
โCan I see Dr. Liu, before shifting?โ
โNo, he is very busy.โ
After keeping him in Isolation Ward for two days, Aftab Ahmad was further shifted to Quarantine Ward, where his sample was again taken a few days later. When the result of this test also came out negative, there was no reason to keep him in the hospital any more.
โDoctor,โ He said to the doctor, who had delivered him happy news of his discharge from the hospital. โWhere can I see Dr. Liu?โ
Since, there had been a wide gossip about his strange wish of sighting of the sunset amongst all staff of the hospital, and it was referred before him time and again with keen interest, hence, the desire of meeting with Dr. Liu was not an astounding thing for them.
โYou canโt see him. He has been in Isolation for the last few days after positive result of his COVID-19 test.โ The doctor replied, blankly.
He was deeply shocked.
After completion of all the necessary documentations, when ambulance brought him out of the hospital he cast the last glance through the window pane over the side, where he had witnessed the sunset, he saw an alert platoon of Peoples Liberation Army presenting Guard of Honor to all the faculty of hospital, certainly except Dr. Liu. His grief deepened.
โฆ.
(Self-translation from Urdu)
****
Author
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Najam-uddin Ahmad is Urdu novelist and short story writer. He has published three novel: ๐๐ถ๐ฅ๐ง๐ถ๐ฏ (The Burials) in 2006, ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ซ (The Explore) in 2016, and ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฎ (The Partners) in 2019, and two collections of short stories: ๐๐ข๐ฐ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ช ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ (Brother, Letโs play) in 2013 and ๐๐ณ๐ข๐ข๐ณ ๐ข๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ด๐ณ๐ข๐บ ๐๐ง๐ด๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐บ (Flee and Other Short Stories) in 2017. Presently, he has been working on his Urdu novel, ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ข ๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ต. A collection of Urdu Short Stories is also expected soon. He is also renowned for his translations into Urdu. Among other translations, he has recently translated the famous Turk epic โThe Book of Dede Korkutโ into Urdu, published by the Pakistan Academy of Letters. He has also translated a number of Urdu short stories into English. He has been bestowed with Pakistan Writers Guild Award, 2013 (๐๐ข๐ฐ ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ช ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ), 7th UBL Excellence Award, 2017 (Translation of selected short stories of Nobel Laureates), and National Award of Translation, 2019 by the Pakistan Academy of Letters. His Novel ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ซ was also short listed for 7th UBL Excellence Award, 2017.
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